Self Improvement – You Can Win
I am going through the book for self improvement, “You can win” by the renowned author Shiv Khera. While reading, it seems to me that I am discovering myself from a new point of view, with an analysis of every facet of my life. I have made a note book, as the book suggests. This note book should answer the following questions:-
1. What do I want to get?
2. How do I want to get?
3. When do I want to get?
Although I am still in the first chapter (title- building a positive attitude) of the book, I have learned many things that I should have learned long ago. A few features I am mentioning:
No training will be effective if the trainee is in a lack of good qualities. What are the good qualities? The people who have:
1. Character (although I am not clear what exactly it means. If it means that not cheating or telling lies, then I have a strong character. If it includes some other things you know, please let me know.)
2. Honesty (I am honest enough even to be a loser in bargaining and shopping. I trust the salesmen what they say about its quality and price!)
3. Positive attitude (yet to learn)
(I have been teaching and counseling for more than 10 years and I find this fact exactly conforming to my experience. Generally, if the student is not sharp enough, he cannot make a good progress comparing to others, no matter how hard the teacher tries.
This is like the cultivation of crops. If you have good seeds, generally you can get a good harvest. On the other hand, if you have bad, worm eaten seeds, generally you cannot get your desired harvest, no matter how much effort, water and fertilizer you use.)
Steps to building a positive attitude
1st step: Change focus, look for the positive
As the book says, once Andrew Karnegy was asked about how he deals with people. Karnegy replied- Dealing with people is like such that you are digging soil for gold. For one ounce of gold, tons of soil has to be dug. But it is the gold what is looked for, not the soil.
2nd step: Make a habit of doing it now
He slept with a romantic moonlit night,
He enjoyed the sunshine over his whole body,
He lived a whole life thinking- something should be done,
When death came at the doorway, still he had nothing done.
-James Alberry
3rd step: Develop an attitude of gratitude
In our lives, many achievements are like hidden treasures- the proper value of which we don’t know. We should look on them, not on the sufferings.
4th step: Get into a continuous education program
A man still can get a success, if he acquires the following virtues:
· Character
· Responsibility
· Firm determination
· Good manner
· Courage
We all have natural skill on one or another particular subject. I can say I am an expert in my field of interests (astrology-palmistry and numerology, meditation, self-improvement strategy, Buddhism), because I learn them with my own interest, practice them and experience them in this real world as far as possible. But, I cannot qualify as an educated person according to Socrates criteria (although I have earned a good bachelor degree in mechanical engineering)!
It says that, if anyone can separate between wisdom and stupidity, good and bad, decency and indecency, then whether he has a good academic degree or not, he can be termed as an educated person (I am not an educated person, because I often do stupid tasks like leaving a job apparently without any reason!).
5th step: Build a positive self-esteem
Simply do some generous work like teaching or helping others that cannot be returned by any means. It will increase your ease and comfort while living in society and keep the relations warm and peaceful.
6th step: Stay away from negative influences
Avoid-
negative minded people who always try to tease you for your success. If they try to attack you, don’t fight, but step aside. Fighting requires extra effort, time and other stuff, which should not be wasted in this filthy affair. They will try to bring you down to a lower level by attack or harassment. Now if you counter-attack them, you will go down to the lower level which is not desired. Simply bear forbearance and engage yourself in work so that you won’t have time to quarrel. Remember, man is known by his companies.
Smoking, Drug and Alcohol that make you crazy like a mad. If you are used to smoke, try to live just only one day without smoking. You will be gone mad to smoke- I can guarantee that, because I have seen such people in my acquaintance.
Porno stuffs that degrade the mental attitude of women and child. In America, in every 46 seconds, a girl is raped(National Victim Center/Crime Victims Research and Treatment Centre-1992). 86% molester admitted that they used and followed porno stuffs.
Negative movies and tv shows, harassment and rock music(!) that influence us both consciously and unconsciously.
7th step: Learn to like the things that need to be done
We like it or not, we need to do some tasks. For example- child caring by a mother. These tasks may not always be interesting, but you should do it with enthusiasm. What St. Francis of Asise said, “Start doing what you need to do, then start what is possible; at last you will see that even impossible tasks are possible.”
8th step: Start your day with a positive
In the morning, read or listen to something, that is positive. It prepares us for a whole day hassles. Start it now.
Action Plan
At the end of the chapter, an action plan is provided, that includes the following directions:
1. Write your action plan on a paper and read it daily. After daily reading for 21 days, answer the following questions within 30 minutes:
2. How will you use each step in- home, workplace and in society?
3. Make a list of the topics that you need to change in yourself.
4. Make a list of the benefits of each change.
5. At last, make a firm determination to apply the changes according to a time schedule.
Everything here is good, but the problem is that I am reluctant to the changes that I need to be done. What about you?